Happy Birthday to me

Birthdays are funny. I always view mine with mixed emotions. There's a little bit of excitement and definitely some reservation. The bottom line, I'm getting older.

Last year I was actually quite excited about my birthday. I was turning 30, I had finally finished all my medical training, and I was looking toward a job in New Zealand. I spent an entire week in celebration pampering myself, going out to eat, and enjoying time with friends. It was awesome. Naturally, anything after that experience is going to be a little bit of a let down.

Yesterday, marked another year of my life. I am now 31. For some reason, I also now feel old. Turning 30 seemed like a coming of age, turning 31 just seems like age. It has put me into a psychological tailspin. Realize, a lot of this is precipitated by my locale in a foreign country away from family and friends. It's just not the same to celebrate with people you've only known for six months. Yet, I was pleasantly surprised.

Friday morning I was running late (not an unusual event for me, but this time justifiable) because I was saying goodbye to some friends from the states who had stayed with me the night before on their way back up to Auckland. Admittedly, I was also dragging my feet because I don't feel anyone should have to work on their birthday, myself included. Yet, within the first five minutes of my arrival, I was being serenaded with "Happy Birthday" from the clinic staff as they entered my consult room, bringing a piece of candle-topped birthday cake and spreading an array of presents on my desk. The day was looking up. Unfortunately, my patients did not have the same sympathy for my day of celebration as I was bombarded with a series of emotionally draining clients. In addition, I was leery of a particular patient, a member of the Maori Black Power gang, who had threatened me the day before and was meant to come in again on Friday (blog entry to come surrounding this event). By lunch, I had pretty much had it. Fortunately, the afternoon proved light and short. The receptionists had kindly blocked my last hour and a half out, unbeknownst to me. Finishing my paperwork, I was out the door early.

The gym was my next stop for the last of my training runs before the half-marathon. Upon entering, one of the owners extended an invitation to a "selective" dinner party with other members of the gym. Having no plans for dinner given that all my kiwi friends were otherwise occupied, I kindly accepted. Upon leaving, I was handed the prize for winning the Women's division of the 5000 meter rowing competition. (Time: 20:09.6 for all my rowing compadres. That's at a resistance of 10.) The day was getting better and better.

Despite being across the Pacific from those closest to me, I never felt forgotten. My email was peppered throughout the day with greetings from various friends (several from distant educational phases of my life) and family wishing me happy birthday. Small packages were also left on my desk intermittently during the day each time I left my consult room. And the ring of both my cell phone and land line greeted me when I arrived home with familiar voices speaking from the other end.

So while I may be internationally located, and I may be feeling a little bit older, I am definitely not feeling alone. We'll see how I feel after this weekend's race...