Plain, please

Yesterday marked another adventure in Doc Jenn's encounters with the Kiwis. Once again I packed up my day pack and joined a few members of the Alpine Club for a hike up Mt. Egmont. This time we were headed to one of the old hut sites. Department of Conservation, or DOC as it's more commonly known, manages all government land in the country. Much like the national park system for us in the states. To facilitate locals and visitors alike to utilize the recreational land, DOC maintains several huts across the country. They don't amount to much more then four walls of corrugated aluminum with a few bunk beds inside, but it sure beats sleeping in the rain. Unfortunately, like all government agencies, DOC had to make cuts in spending, and that meant removing some of the huts across the country, including the Mangahume Hut we were hiking to on Saturday. Initially the plan was to camp overnight on the old hut site, but due to inclement weather (ie pouring rain and blustering winds) they elected to stay in the shelter of another existing hut on the mountain. Prior to heading out, I had elected to hike the whole trip in one day. It meant 7 1/2 hours of hard hiking, at the price of very sore buttocks and legs and a water-logged left foot, but the hot shower felt fabulous when I got home. The 'adventure' part of this trip originates from the lack of established trail down to this old hut site. This meant some of the male members on the trip got to play with their GPS toys, running us all over the mountain side in the low-visibility mist until we succeeded in finding our destination. If this sounds very Lord of the Rings-esque, you would be correct. Let me tell you, though, the scenes in that movie do not even come close to bringing justice to the beauty of walking through the land yourself.

After safely making the solo journey back to my car, all I could think about was food. I had a great desire for my mother's wonderful clam sauce, loaded with dripping butter and garlic, on a bed of spaghetti. Unfortunately, clams are not native to New Zealand, nor has the average kiwi heard of clams as I found out when I went hunting for them in the grocery store. What I did find was a variety of other canned seafood, in particular tuna and salmon. All different varieties for your choosing: smoked, seasoned with lemon and pepper, dill and chives, spicy curry. Any flavor you'd like, except plain. Okay, there were a few token cans packed in oil or water, hidden on the back of the shelf, covered in dust. In general, everything was flavored. This goes for most other processed foods as well. A walk down the potato chip aisle reveals the usual flavored suspects of sour cream and onion and barbecue, but then on closer inspection you'll find chicken with herbs, liver and onion, and even lamb with mint flavored varieties. But your basic run of the mill plain with a little salt? Not present. I don't understand. Kiwis like their processed food flavored. All I want is plain, please.